It's a GAD GAD World
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I submitted my resume & cover letter for the cool new position at my school on Saturday (one week ago today). Got a voice mail from my boss on Friday telling me I'd be having an interview with my prospective new boss on Monday at 1pm. I've been shitting bricks ever since.

Even though there's been talk of me having this job from day one, I still feel like something could happen to screw it up. Chalk it up to GAD, I guess. Another part of it is that the person I'd be reporting to isn't the Awesome VP, it's another person. And while she's been ok to work with for the most part, a couple of weeks ago she showed me her ugly side. And this week something happened that may have also put me on her bad side. Basically, she made a disciplinary decision about a student that was overruled. How I was involved is a long story that I won't go into here. I obviously wasn't the one who overruled her, though. I don't have that authority.

I think I'm starting to get addicted to the benzos again. Sometime this week I was lying down at home & felt some slight chest pain. The only times I've felt chest pain like that was when my body needed klonopin & I wasn't taking it. I try to avoid meds on the weekends in order to prevent building up a tolerance and also to conserve. I skipped my Friday morning dose of klonopin because I didn't feel like I needed it. By the evening I was climbing the walls with restlessness & anxiety. I had to take some just to be able to get to sleep.

Like I said, my interview is on Monday. Cross everything you have two of...

Hello Pat,
thank you for keeping up this very enlightening blog. It has given me a great deal of insight into the day to day struggles of someone wrestling with GAD, and periodic depression. I have been dating a great gal for about four months now, that let me in on her 'dark secret' (GAD and depression) about two months ago. I didn't realize the full repercussions of what was involved for someone with this condition, and we have butted heads frequently over what I thought was often rather minor 'stuff'. But I have been doing my research on GAD recently, and am slowly getting a grip on what she goes through, and I am starting to see things from her perspective. Reading your blog has been very helpful in allowing me to understand how she sees her world, and that I can't take everything she says as a personal attack.
Even if you don't get much feedback from this blog, I am sure that many people are reading, and following your trials and tribulations. You are doing some of us a great service. Keep up the good work, and hang in there. I sure hope you find a solution sooner than later.


I just found this blog somehow or other, and I thought it was really interesting. I was doing something similar on livejournal with my GAD, but after awhile I had stopped taking my medication, and seemed to be doing ok for awhile. But, here I am, back on it again, back at an old job I had at a call center (WORST place to work with GAD... EVER.)

Anyway I just wanted to wish you luck with your interview, and with everything else, keep it up!
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