It's a GAD GAD World
Sunday, October 29, 2006
OK, to all my readers (and there are what, maybe 5 of you??) who were left spellbound by the cliffhanger in my last post, here's what happened:

I ended up not going.

The rain came down in sheets for most of the morning and early afternoon, and it didn't clear up till what would have been curtain time. So I didn't go. I stayed home and dry. Not to mention dry-eyed.

Just as well. I saved $20, & I didn't ruin Cute Guy's special day, which is probably what would have happened if I had shown up.

Had an appointment with my p-doc on Friday. By some miracle she was only running late by about 15 minutes. But this time her excuse for being late was that she had to smoke. She must have gone all day without a cigarette, because throughout my entire appointment her hands were shaking. My chemistry teacher's hands used to shake like that.

But anyway, she asked me how work was going. I said OK. Then she asked me if I'd gotten a raise yet. I don't know what business that was of hers, but I said yes, I had. Then she asked me about my social life. I said I didn't have one. She asked me what I did all day. I said I go to work, come home, sack out, eat dinner and/or shower if I have the energy, then go to sleep. And on weekends I typically go the entire time without speaking to anyone.

She said I needed to start joining some groups. I asked why. She said because I didn't have a social life. I asked why that was a problem for her. She said, "It's not a problem for you?" I said no. Then she dropped the subject & moved on to something else.

Of course this was a big fat lie. Of course I feel lonely & isolated. But I wasn't about to break down & sob my heart out in front of a woman who at the moment can't focus on anything but her next opportunity to light up.

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