It's a GAD GAD World
Friday, February 16, 2007
...and I get to hold my breath for another fucking month to find out if I've just hit Strike Two.

Had the appt with the t-doc today. This person is a nurse practitioner who works out of the same office as my p-doc (the one I chewed out last month). She can write prescriptions for some meds, but not all.

I don't know where to begin. The appt wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good. She listened patiently to what I had to say, but when she asked me what meds I was taking & I showed her the list, she gasped. Apparently she thought it was a ridiculously long list. Please, I've seen people on crazyboards with med lists twice as long and sometimes up to triple the dosages I'm taking.

The second bad part is that because I ripped my p-doc a new ass last month, she's apparently thinking about terminating our professional relationship as well. So the way the t-doc & I left it was that she was going to discuss things with the p-doc & I get to find out at my next appt whether I have to start hunting for a new p-doc.

And people wonder why I'm not more assertive...

This ALWAYS happens to me! Every time I try to stand up for myself & say, "I don't deserve X, I deserve Y", I ALWAYS get punished. I stood up to my parents for treating me like a worthless piece of shit, and they kicked me out of the house. I stood up to my boss (at another college I've never mentioned here) for being dishonest & unethical, and I ended up losing my job AND my apartment at the same time.

Why does doing the right thing and standing up for what you believe in have to hurt so much? And why does it have to cost so much?

This should have been a good day. I had a day off from work today, I managed to score a ton of coupons from the garbage piles along the block of my p-doc's office (yes, I'm a trash digger--so pathetic!), and I reunited after my appt with a friend I hadn't seen in 2 years. Instead I'm shitting bricks over whether I'm ever going to get another prescription ever again.

Work is getting crazy too. I am so overwhelmed. Plus we've got this stupid training shit that I have to go to on Wednesday. Like I don't have enough to do. I even tried to go into work today (since I was in the city anyway), but the doors were locked & I couldn't get in.

Another housecleaning favor, people? If you're reading this blog, post a comment, even if it's just a bullshit comment. I was recently FORCED by Blogger to update to the new one, & to make a long story short, it's fucking with my email accounts. I need posts so I can see where they're going when you've posted them. I even tried to post a comment myself, but y'know the part where it says type the letters you see in the space below? I didn't see any letters to type. It's taken about an hour of frustrated searching just for me to be able to log on to post.

Thanks, people.

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