It's a GAD GAD World
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to the asshole's lecture tonight. I spoke to him. And I was civil! :)

So last night I did some major preparation for this night. Did a lot of positive reinforcement stuff, did my nails, picked my outfit carefully, and...did something on the spur of the moment that turned out to be very smart.

So tonight I went to the lecture. And as I was standing in line I saw him walk into the building. It's a good thing I'm not prone to panic attacks, because I probably would have had one. My body instantly went into "Oh shit!" mode. But I held it together.

I sat through the lecture, which was actually pretty interesting. And then it was time to leave. And I thought about just walking out. But then I realized that walking out would defeat the whole purpose of the exercise. Even though I promised myself I wouldn't initiate any contact with him, I decided to break my rule.

So a small crowd of people was standing around him asking him questions afterward. I patiently waited my turn. When it finally came, he looked me in the eye & said "Hi".

Now--here's where the smart thing I did last night came into play. What I had done was print out a copy of the letter I wrote to Forest last year asking them to do research on Namenda. At the bottom of the letter I had written, "PS--They called me a week later." And as I stood before him tonight I handed him the letter and said, "Here's a present for you."

Then he said, "I saw you sitting back there." And as I turned away I muttered under my breath "I bet you did." And I left.

So maybe this wasn't a huge deal. But what it proves is that as a humble solitary patient I've done more to further the cause of Namenda than he has, and he's a big-shot, multi-published research scientist. So nyaah!

But I achieved my impossible goal. I reached out to someone who royally dicked me over and I was civil.

It's 11:15pm right now and I am going to be SOOO tired when I wake up tomorrow. But it was worth it.

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