BURP!
I just downed an entire order of Domino's cheesy bread and almost 3 slices of a large pizza.

Tomorrow I'm going to regret this. Hell, I might even regret it in a few hours. But for now, the carb avalanche has made me calm and content.

Maybe I'm going stir crazy. I've gone shopping in a couple of places today, and I spoke briefly with the clerks who waited on me. That is the only conversation I've had since (I think) Tuesday when I left work.

How To Tell If You're Lonely:

*You're grateful that you ran into your neighbor who has a few screws loose yesterday because he said "Happy Thanksgiving" to you. He's the ONLY person who wished you a happy Thanksgiving yesterday.

*You have nothing better to do over the holiday weekend than watch the news. You start thinking that some of the newsguys are hot. You even go so far as to Google them to find out if they're single. (Not that a fat old worthless pig like you would even have a chance in hell with someone gorgeous enough to be on TV.)

*You start thinking the guy in the Viagra ad is hot. (Or maybe it's Cialis, I don't remember. But it's the one where the guy & his wife are in the kitchen about to get it on & the kitchen sink faucet explodes and showers water all over them.)

*You're the only person in America who doesn't get up at the crack of ass to go shopping on Black Friday. (You have no one for whom you need to buy a gift.)

*You look forward to getting junk mail because it proves you exist.

*You share all this worthless drivel in a blog because you have no one else to share it with.

As far as the gift thing goes, there's a "Secret Santa" charity thing going on at work. If you participate, you get a letter from a child making a Christmas request, & you have to spend about $50 on a gift. I'm thinking of doing it. Even if I won't have a happy holiday, the least I can do is try to keep someone else from having a miserable holiday.

So I'm reading this book "Fat, Broke & Lonely No More" by Victoria Moran. I mentioned her once before in a previous post. At the end of each chapter of the book there's an "assignment" for the reader. This chapter was about finding your life's work, your calling, your Reason For Being". The assignment was answering a bunch of questions like "Where do you most like to spend your time?" (Um...in bed.) Who are the people you most enjoy hanging out with? What movies, TV shows, books do you prefer? What energizes you?

Now, you're supposed to write down the answers to all these questions & look for a pattern. The only pattern I can see is that I'm a music lover who desperately wants to be someone's girlfriend. I needed a book to tell me this??

NUMB3RS is starting in about 20 minutes. That is, if it didn't get pre-empted by some stupid football game. Maybe the carbs will help me pass out on the couch.
- posted by Pat @ 9:20 PM