It's a GAD GAD World
Monday, June 23, 2008
My friend the cancer patient died last week.

The day after, I visited her family. The day after that, I went out of town on a conference for a few days. The flight turned out to be the trip from hell. I didn't arrive at my destination till 1am. And even though I arrived at my destination, my luggage did not. I had to wait about 24 hours for it to be delivered to my hotel.

It gets better. I only packed 2 types of meds with me (Namenda & doxepin) because I was afraid my suitcase would be the one piece of baggage that got searched & I'd get 20 million questions from some airport security guard about why I need so many crazy meds & then I'd become unglued & then they'd detain me for being unstable. I took no benzos with me, save for the 1 mg of xanax XR that I kept in my pocket & took just before I arrived at the airport. And I had the Namenda & doxepin in my checked luggage. The luggage that didn't make it to my destination for 24 hours.

I came back home & had to go to work the next day. And so it's only been within the past few days that I've really had time to grieve for my friend.

I got a couple of emails from mutual friends saying "I'm so sorry, I know you two were close." That's so strange, because the hard truth is that we weren't. She was like one of those cool people in high school who was always nice to you, but never let you get too close. And I was (and still am) the geek everyone avoids.

I decided to mourn her death by baking a shitload of cookies (in honor of the one time I was able to do anything for her by bringing her cookies in the hospital) and playing her favorite type of music.

And then George Carlin died today. He was such a critical part of my adolescence. That's how I kept myself from being harassed in gym class. I used to do his bits in the locker room. My classmates were too ignorant & stupid to know I was quoting someone else's material.

Ever notice how the majority of people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? :)

Rest in peace, George. And thanks Jane for your post.

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