It's a GAD GAD World
Sunday, September 20, 2009

Not one damn word.

Not a phone call, not even a lousy email.

This was the response I received from the Guitar God to the birthday package I mailed him last week. The one I've been working on for more than a year. The one I was inspired to do the night I kissed him.

Mind you, I wasn't expecting any miracles. I didn't think this was going to magically change his heart around. But I thought he'd at least say "thank you".

As I said, I mailed it last week. And for an extra $0.75 I put a tracking number on it so I could track delivery on the USPS website. It was delivered 2 days after I mailed it.

The only logical excuse--the ONLY logical excuse--is if he's been out of town for his birthday and he hasn't picked up the package from his doorman yet. It's possible, but I'm not betting on it.

And I guess there is one other possibility. He's got some gigs in the next couple of weeks and maybe he's thinking he'll thank me in person. Well, I'm not going to any of them. It turns out I've got other concerts to go to on all of the nights he's got gigs.

This was a damn good package too. I can't be too specific here about what I put into it, but let's just say it was stuff I knew he'd appreciate, mixed in with some corny stuff.

But I don't think it was a waste, despite his (lack of) response. As I've said here before, just once I wanted to unleash my creativity full force on someone special. And I did. And every time I thought of something new to put in the box or found something or acquired it, I'd spend some time daydreaming about how pleased he'd be when he opened it. And that gave me a lot of joy.

The other reason I don't think my effort was a waste is because his non-response might just piss me off enough to finally get him out of my system after all these years.

In other news, my GAD/depression seems to be stable even though my job is still a nightmare. I've slacked off on the job-hunting, mainly because there's very little out there for me to hunt. I don't want to trade one miserable job for another, especially if it's one that pays less than what I'm currently earning.

And did I mention how pissed off I am at the President for his health care speech a few weeks ago, when he called people who don't have health insurance "irresponsible"? I'd like to see him show up at the college where I work and tell our adjuncts that they're irresponsible. I'd also like for him to remember that the same people who worked their butts off to get him elected can work their butts off to get him defeated in 2012.

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