It's a GAD GAD World
Saturday, March 03, 2012
MAYBE I'M NOT CRAZY...
...Or at least, not as crazy as I've been led to believe.
There's a new book out called "Quiet" by Susan Cain. It's about being an introvert in a culture that heavily favors extrovertism (I don't even know if that's a legitimate word, but roll with it, OK?).
I've always been a "sensitive" person. When I was in school I used to cry when the OTHER kids got yelled at. (I rarely got yelled at--I bent over backwards to avoid doing anything that would warrant being yelled at.) As I age I'm finding it increasingly difficult to go out & be social. I'd rather stay at home & watch tv or read or fart around on the computer. And I'm MUCH happier having a conversation with 1 or 2 people than going to some huge party.
These are all classic introverted traits. And the field I work in (higher education) HEAVILY favors extroverts. Maybe this is the reason it took me so damn long to find a job--because I gave off introvert vibes when my extroverted interviewers were looking for the opposite. Maybe this is why I'm still alone after all these years. The thought of "speed dating" or even plain old blind dating for that matter makes me nauseous. And maybe...just maybe...the whole anxiety/depression thing is a manifestation of living in a culture that relentlessly tries to force me into being something that I am not.
I could go on about this, but I'm sick as a dog right now. I haven't gotten any real sleep for the past 2 nights because I can't breathe and my throat hurts like hell. But I wanted to get this out. And now I'm going back to bed.