It's a GAD GAD World
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
"Suck it up, New York. It was a Blizzard, for godssake. I can't tell whether we are all being big BABIES (uh, YEAH, it's gonna take a while to dig out after a DISASTER !) OR if the budget cutters cut the wrong line item?? "

These are the exact words uttered by a NYC radio DJ this morning. And I've been wanting to smack the DJ ever since.

News broke this evening about a woman in Crown Heights, Brooklyn who went into labor at 8:30am Monday morning. She called for an ambulance, which did not arrive until after 6pm that evening. The woman had to deliver in the vestibule of her building. Her baby was born unconscious, and later died.

Elsewhere in NYC there was an elderly woman who called 911 complaining of chest pains. The ambulance arrived 6 hours later, but by that time the woman was already dead of an apparent heart attack.

I cordially invite this DJ to contact the grieving mother and tell her to suck it up. I also invite the DJ to contact the family of the heart attack victim and call them a bunch of babies.

This has been bugging me all day. How have we as a society become this callous and insensitive? I know intellectually that this was just a stupid comment and I should just let it go. Unfortunately my intellect and my emotions aren't often on speaking terms.

On top of this, I haven't left the apartment since yesterday morning & I'm getting anxious about going back to work on Monday. Oy.

Sunday, December 26, 2010
Thanks Echo for your comment. I'm going to have to do some net-searching on "thyroid antibodies" so that when I ask my PCP to do this the next time I see her, I will sound like I know what I'm talking about.

Remember those gifts I sent out that no one had acknowledged yet? On Christmas Eve I was sitting here in my apartment doing nothing in particular when my cell phone rang. It was one of the recipients calling to thank me. She'd had to put one of her cats down that morning so my gift was perfect timing. We ended up having a 3 1/2 hour conversation. It's the one Christmas gift I've wanted for more than a decade. Someone actually acknowledged my existence over the holiday.

For weeks now I'd been planning to do some shopping the day after Christmas. I had some coupons to blow & I wanted to take advantage of post-holiday sales. I wasn't planning on the mother of all snowstorms. Still got most of my planned shopping done, but I had to head back home earlier than I expected.

Then I was watching TV & I tried to go to a particular channel & the picture went out entirely. This has happened before. It's one of the quirks of my DVR. Usually I can reset it by unplugging the unit & plugging it back in again. Not this time. And right before the evening news. I was going to spend my morning watching the weather coverage, but I guess I'm not now. I'm ready to bash the damn thing in with a baseball bat.

I put in a call to my video guru friend & told her to call me before midnight if she got the msg in time. So now I'm killing time online waiting to see if she'll call back.

Friday, December 24, 2010
Well, at least I won't be spending Christmas alone this year. I'll have Aunt Flo to keep me company. She arrived today, a week early. I hope this isn't another extended visit.

The increased doxepin dosage seems to be going OK, although I have to admit I haven't been as faithful about taking it as I should.

Went to see the electro-cardiologist this week. I had gone to get a specific procedure done, which they seemed to know nothing about once I got into the exam room, an hour late. After examining me she asked me to get dressed and come into her office "to discuss your options". After mentioning one option--the one that involves frying off a part of my heart without anesthesia--and I said I wasn't interested in that particular option, she terminated the conversation.

And people wonder why I hate doctors.

I know that this is the time of year when we're supposed to focus on all the love and warm fuzzies out there, but I'm just not feeling it. I haven't felt it in a long time, but now I'm really not feeling it. After I got skewered on FB for what I thought was something inocuous and fun, I decided I didn't want to bother with holiday presents. But I'd bought a few before I made that decision, & I didn't want them sitting around my apartment so I mailed them. One of them might not have reached its destination yet, but I have yet to hear thanks from either of the other 2 recipients.

On the other hand, I managed to score a good deal on art supplies, so I bought some for a neighbor friend of mine who drives me places occasionally. So that was good.

For all those who are reading (and thanks to the nifty new stat function, I know some people are!), I wish you a warm and safe holiday. I won't say "happy", because I can't even achieve that for myself. But I hope that even if you're not surrounded by gobs of presents and people who care about you, that at least you're warm and safe.

Saturday, December 04, 2010
That's right. 28 fucking days. Exactly. I'm almost afraid to call it over for fear I might jinx myself. But I think it's over for now (knock on wood).

Had my pdoc appointment yesterday. Told her I'd been depressed for over a month, she upped my doxepin to 100 mgs. I did some shopping after the appt, then as soon as I came home (around 1:30pm) I popped one. I was out cold till about 8pm.

During the appt she asked me if it was anything in particular. I was a little too fucked up at the moment to give her an honest answer, but what I wanted to say was, Why should I even bother going into it? I've been your patient for nearly three years, and the ONE time I wanted to talk to you about something that was bothering me, you shrugged your shoulders and said, "I don't know what to tell you". I understand that you are not a therapist. I don't WANT a therapist. I don't want to have to spill my guts to you for half an hour every time I come in here for the 9 times out of 10 that I just need a damn refill on my meds. But the ONE time out of ten that I do need to talk, you could at least pretend to be empathetic.

I have another appointment scheduled with her in a month. Maybe I'll say it to her then.

I have to admit I felt marginally better after taking that one pill. Could just be the placebo effect. We'll see.

I recently discovered that Blogger has a new stats feature. Seems there are a lot of people in the UK who are reading this here blog. I can't imagine why, but thanks for your interest!

I was going to go and take some garbage out, but my landlord is in the building. What he's doing here after 8pm on a Saturday night, God only knows. Saturday night is usually the one time of the week I'm guaranteed NOT to see him. Guess I'll just lay low and fool around on the computer for a while. I don't like to play music or run the water when he's here, because he might try to bother me if he knows I'm home. *sigh*

Think I'll check my stats now.

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